HIP, HIP, HOORAY - I HOPE

Approximately 240,000 total hip replacements are performed in the United States each year. Tomorrow, August 17th, you can add the name Bob Lynn to the list. The surgery will be performed by orthopedist Dr. Tim Kavanaugh at Alaska Regional Hospital in Anchorage. I think he’s worked on half our legislators, both past and present.

Everyone tells me hip replacement is nowadays just a routine “procedure.” Obviously, however, the procedure is more routine for doctors than for patients. To me, having a hangnail removed isn't routine.

I’m thinking the word “procedure” means something like a surgical operation. Euphemisms make me nervous. The hospital instruction papers tell me I may have some “discomfort” immediately after the operation. I betcha what is discomfort for them is “ouch” to me. It’s like when I was in Vietnam controlling B52 bombing strikes. Dropping bombs wasn’t bombing, it was an merely an “event.” Bombers weren’t B52s, they were “priority traffic.” And the beat goes on.
I think filling out all the paperwork (much of it seems to be “CYA” – and no, I won’t define "CYA") may be the most painful part of the operation. I didn’t have one of the papers needed today when I went to the Pre-Admitting Section at the hospital. The clerk informed me that “It’s not usual for someone not to have that form.” To which I replied, “Well, it’s not usual for me to have a hip replacement.” Hopefully if the clerk is a voter, she doesn’t live in my district.

I just looked a little better at the diagram I posted on this Blog. Yikes!! Even so, I’m very much looking forward to getting around a little better than before. I have places to go and things to do. Next blog, I’ll tell you how it went. I’m hoping I’ll be saying “Hip, Hip, Hooray!!!