OBSERVATIONS AND QUESTIONS

I swiped the following observations and questions from Facebook postings by Robert Jordan. I served with Robert at Monkey Mountain in Vietnam. I don’t know if there’s a link between perverse humor and Vietnam. Whatever, I’m sharing the following:

"I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die of natural causes."

"If someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head."

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

"If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, 
 doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians 
denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and tree surgeons debarked?"

"If someone with multiple personalities disorder threatens to kill themselves, is it a hostage situation?”

"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that they have never tried to contact us."